Random Thoughts on "Attack of the Theocrats!"

Sometimes I really want to write in my blog, but I don’t have one cohesive, coherent thought. So, today I decided, so what? I am just going to write what is on my mind right now.

I just finished the book “Attack of the Theocrats: How the Religious Right Harms us all.”
Here are some awesome quotes from the book:

“If there is no God, no afterlife—indeed, if your life on this one small planet is infinitesimally short—then it makes you humble and it might inspire you to plan more carefully.” Sean Faircloth

I would also add that not worrying about an afterlife makes me feel free to enjoy this life and to take advantage of the time that I know I have here to be a good, kind, loving, decent person and to spend every day knowing that I will die. I do not try to be a good person because I fear being burned in hell or because I want a mansion in heaven. I want to be and do good simply because it is the right way to treat my fellow humans.

Here is another quote from the book along these lines from Steve Jobs:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important thing I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Even though I have no idea what it feels like to know I will die soon, I have always tried to make decisions based on the “big picture” and tried to make sure to choose my battles carefully and see things from a “death-bed perspective.” When my oldest daughter was born, I remember having a conversation with my parents on the phone about how to raise her. They thought I should follow the James Dobson/Focus on the Family model and see my child as sinful from the beginning and make sure she was properly disciplined. I have always tried to live my life with the philosophy that life is short and I honestly try to use my own judgment and intuition as a mom, rather than listen to some dumb ass preacher who thinks that beating your kids makes them good. I have not been a perfect mom, but I can say that using this philosophy has worked for me and my kids. My kids have all turned out to be wonderful, kind, and productive members of society who have a good heart and who try to be good, moral and loving people. I raised them to think for themselves and I raised them to question things that did not make sense. I never wanted to teach them that just because someone claimed to be in authority over them, they had to “obey” them. I continue to believe that this has helped them to be confident and awesome adults who have their own mind and their own views.

“You will hear Rush Limbaugh complain about “special rights.” Fundamentalists tell us to fear the specter of special rights for gay citizens, though of course gay Americans aren’t after special rights—merely equal rights.” I won’t go on and on about this, but I am so tired of people trying to say that gay people are trying to get special rights. I am sorry that Rush is secretly gay and that is why he hates gay people, but it is not special rights to want the same thing everyone else has!!! Maybe one day Rush will come out of the closet and stop his ridiculous nonsense, but until then, I guess he has a right to say what he wants to say. I have a right to say he is an idiot!

Moving on to religion and how it is bad for women:

“According to a 2004 study, the most irreligious nations were the most likely to treat women and girls equally. The nations with the most sexist policies tend to be the most religious.” Sean Faircloth

This one seems obvious to me, but this book backs statements up like this with facts and statistics. Most religions, when examined closely, try to keep women down. I mean, read the Bible! It is full of verses that basically tell us we are second class citizens(or worse!). Preventing women from health care and giving them full disclosure to options available to them is the only way to prevent women from being thrown back to stone ages. Women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, and so many others worked hard to help women get the freedom to vote, access to birth control and many are still fighting for women’s rights today. Why would we want to let one religion’s beliefs from an ancient book tell us how we can live in this day and age? We don’t!! So we need to say NO to politicians who want to take away women’s rights and the right to choose what is best. We need to TRUST that most women are smart and capable of making their own decisions and we don’t need anyone telling us what to do with OUR OWN BODIES!

The most important message of this book is in the second half of the book where Mr. Faircloth talks about how we can make a change in our government and how secular governments needs to become the norm, rather than having our country run by extreme fundamentalists who: Hate women, hate gays, hate equality, and who think that blending religion and government is a great idea.

He suggests Ten Guiding Principles of a Secular America. “Our rejuvenated secular America will be guided by these moral imperatives:”

1) Our military shall serve and include all Americans, religious and nonreligious, with no hint of bias, and with no hint of fundamentalist extremism coloring our military decisions at home or abroad.

2) Any federal- or state-funded program, whether offering services domestic or foreign, that relates to reproductive health and intimate sexual decisions shall be based on science and public health, not on religious bias or the denigration of women or sexual minorities.

3) Health-care professionals shall fulfill their ethical and professional oath to address the needs of their patients, and they must do so with no hint of religious bias and in respectful service to the needs of the patients they are sworn to serve—or they must find another job.

4) There shall be no bias based on religion or lack thereof in any land-use planning or environmental laws, and discrimination based on religion or lack thereof shall be prohibited in any employment setting.

5) While marriage can be defined by a religion as that religion so chooses for the purposes of its internal ceremonies, our government shall never impose a religious bias on the definition of marriage.

6) When facing the end of life, all Americans shall be guaranteed control over their own bodies, without being thwarted by religious bias.

7) America’s youth shall never be subjected to religious bias in education. If there is one penny of government funds involved, there must not be one iota of religious bias or propaganda.

8) The composition of our Congress and legislatures shall include Secular Americans, and there must be no political bias against secular candidates

9) There shall be one consistent standard pertaining to the health and welfare of children, no matter the religion of a child’s parents, school, or child-care center. Religious extremists can do whatever they want to their own bodies, but children shall be treated as human beings, not as pawns to be sacrificed in the name of religion.

10) Medical, technical, and scientific innovation shall be dedicated to the health and advancement of our fellow citizens and must never be impeded by religious bias.

When you really think about it, doesn’t this make sense? There are so many religions and so many sects of those religions and so many people from so many different backgrounds, why would we think that choosing ONE religion and trying to blend it with our government is a good idea?

Feel free to leave your respectful comments. Any hateful comments or anything that is just plain RUDE will be deleted. If you feel the need to rant and preach, feel free, but you are better off going to a Christian blog where people will agree with your silliness. I don’t need you to quote the Bible for me- I have read enough of it in my lifetime. Thanks!

Hugs and love to all of you!

Get the Kindle version of Attack of the Theocrats here!

Faircloth, Sean (2011-09-13). Attack of the Theocrats!: How the Religious Right Harms Us All—and What We Can Do About It (Kindle Locations 2726-2727). BookMasters. Kindle Edition.

Justified Anger

I just finished the book “WHY ARE YOU ATHEISTS SO ANGRY? 99 Things That Piss off the Godless.”By Greta Christina. I was inspired to keep writing in my blog and to keep talking about my lack of belief and let others know the reasons I am ANGRY too! This book made me feel justified in my anger. As most readers of my blog know, I have dealt with a lot of anger in the process of writing this blog and coming to terms with the fact that I no longer believe in a god. Of any kind.

As I read Greta Christina’s book I realized that I have not been vocal enough yet about my feelings toward religion and the harm it does to people. So, even though I may be repeating things that other atheists already say so well, like Greta Christina, I still need to say them too! So I will continue to blog!

Here are the thoughts I have about the book:

1) I don’t need to feel guilty any more that I have a lot of anger toward churches, religion and the way I was raised. I can take this anger and channel it toward something useful. I can let others know how harmful religion can be. Great Christina points out that this anger is justified- and I agree- and says that we should use this anger to, in her words, “become a political force to be reckoned with.”

2) My anger will help me to be more active in other social movements as well. Like LGBT, feminism, race issues, women’s reproductive rights, etc…

3) I realized reading this book that I do NOT want to be one of the kinds of Atheists who are just like the fundamentalists and take a drastic approach and not allow people the right to free speech and a voice for their beliefs. I am going to try to be a more respectful person when I debate people. I find that Greta Christina is very convincing, in a very respectful way.

4) I am not an intolerant person when I voice my views against religion! I have been told this so much that I was starting to believe it! If someone says, “There is a magic sky daddy and he is my heavenly father and my family and you are hurting me for not believing in him” (well, maybe not those words, exactly, but someone said this to me on Facebook recently) I can say back to them, “Prove it! If you have an extraordinary claim, YOU have the burden of proof, not me!” People, please stop asking ME to prove that there is no god. If you claim there is one, you have the burden of proof. Great Christina says so! Also, when people tell me things like, “You have no absolute basis for morality without God, The Bible or religion, I can tell them that I AM a moral and ethical person and I am an atheist! I will also continue to do awesome things and show people that atheists ROCK!! Anyone who knows me knows I am a very compassionate, kind and helpful person who does far more good in the world than some conservative Christians who sit on their asses and judge me. I can work circles around them all! (Ha!)

5) I think it is really awesome that Great Christina mentioned that many atheists are not only angry for ourselves, but that we are angry at what religion does to other people. We are angry when we see the harm that religion and religious leaders have done to their followers. She says, “Atheists are angry because we have a sense of justice. Atheists are angry because we see millions of people being terribly harmed by religion, and our hearts go out to them, and we feel motivated to bloody well do something about it.
Atheists aren’t angry because there is something wrong with us.
Atheists are angry because there’s something right with us.”

Exactly! Thanks for always saying it so very well Greta Christina!


Here is my own personal list of top 10 reasons I am ANGRY.

1) I am angry that women are being taught by their church leaders every day that they are “less than” and are beneath men simply because they have a vagina. Grrr

2) I am angry when I think about children in my life that I love and adore being told they will go to hell and burn in the lake of fire forever if they don’t believe in the Christian God.

3) I am angry that the principal at Clay Hill Elementary School (Right down the street from our house) thinks it is okay to allow a local pastor to come on public school property and ask kids and parents to meet him at the flag pole for prayers. This is a clear violation of the separation of church and state. If these people were Buddhist and wanted to lead prayers at the flag pole these very same people would pitch a HUGE FIT. Details of story here
4) I get angry when people tell me there is no way I can be a moral and ethical person. Some of these people KNOW me and know that I AM a moral and ethical person!!

5) I get angry when I find out that my ex-girlfriend’s mom said that she would never allow an atheist into her home- like we are some kind of demon or something.

6) I am angry that I calmly read Christian Bible verses and religious crap all day on Facebook and either ignore it or hide it because I love the people who post it. But when I want to post something about my atheism or being bisexual, I get told I should not put that on Facebook, or that I should focus on other things, or that I should consider giving their “god” a chance. Blah blah blah They have a right to say it. I have a right to get angry and say what I want back on MY FACEBOOK PAGE ,DAMN IT!

7) I am angry that I feel cut off from my parents and some siblings because I don’t believe in their god/religion. I miss feeling close to my mom and dad.

8) I get angry when I hear people use the Bible to hand pick verses that justify their hatred of LGBT people. I would rather hear someone say they hate gay people than to hear them say, I love the sinner and hate the sin kind of bull shit that comes out of the mouths of so-called “Christ-followers.” (p.s. either way I get angry lol)

9) I am angry that for the longest time, I have felt guilty about sex, and have had a difficult time coming to terms with my sexuality simply because I was raised to be ashamed of my body, to hide my body and to feel like I need to cover my body.

10) I get angry when I realize that I live in the Bible Belt and there are not many people who live around me that feel this way. Or are there? Come out!!!

If you have not read Greta Christina's  book, buy it today! It is so well worth the read and I am going to keep it on my Kindle on my IPhone so that when I get into a religious debate, I can whip out that book and say, “Well, Greta Christina says….” SO THERE!!

Here is a link to a video introduction of the book.

Here is a link to Amazon where you can buy the Ebook




By the way, I am aware I  have other "angry" lists and a blog about my anger. I wanted to write another one. Just call this blog my angry rant update.

God is not good, or existent (that I can see) but life is....

 
Sometimes when I don't write in my blog for so long, it is because I am having a difficult time. But lately, I really am doing well.

I have been working on healing myself. I am no longer in a relationship of any kind. I feel fulfilled and happy to be on my own for the first time in my life. My breakup with my last girlfriend was tough, but I learned a lot about myself. Rather than ask myself (when I make mistakes) what was I thinking? I am learning to ask myself, What was I learning? I can definitely say I have been learning a lot.

I have learned to ignore people who don't like or understand the fact that I am bisexual. Nothing is going to change that. I really don't think I would change myself, even if I could. I like being this way. It is difficult when my parents don't acknowledge the fact that I am, or when they think I am choosing to be this way, or when other people judge me and think I am just unable to make up my mind. But honestly, I like myself! I still feel pain every day when I think about my parents and the way they disapprove of me. No matter how old I get, I still want my parents to love me and to be proud of me. I am pretty sure they love me, but I wonder if they will ever accept me as I am and be proud of the person that I am.

Yes, I am still an atheist. I always will be. Until I see some real evidence that there is a god, which every day convinces me more and more that there isn't, then I will stick with logic and just say we have this one life, so I am going to do everything I can to make it great. I feel less angry about the way I was raised. I can see my parents were just doing the best they could. I can see they turned to religion as a way to cope with life. I understand that. I am trying to learn to judge them less and to understand things from their perspective. They are really good grandparents to my kids and I appreciate that they spend time with Noah almost every week and that they drive him to Boyscouts. He enjoys spending time with them too.

Noah and me on his birthday: November 1st

I have also learned that I am stronger than I thought possible. 75 days ago, I started working out and counting my calories. In the beginning, my reasons for this were strictly to get into my favorite jeans that had become tight. Now I realize I have gained a whole lot more out of this experience. I have gained confidence! I never thought I would be motivated enough to stick with a program like this. But I just keep telling myself I can do it!I realize I can do so much more than I give myself credit for- which has helped me in every area of my life. So far I have lost 13 pounds. I have about 7 more pounds to my goal weight. My jeans that I wanted to fit me are now baggy. :) I bought some news ones!

Things I want to continue to work on:
1) Being more accepting of people who have different beliefs than I do.
2) Trying to see things from the perspective of others.
3) Forgiving people who have hurt me.
4) Letting things go. Sometimes I am just too sensitive and I get my feelings hurt very easily.
5) Being the best and most moral person that I can be so that I can show others that imaginary beings are not what makes us good people. WE are what makes us good people. WE have it all inside of us.

Who would have known there were abs under there?

I will be writing again soon. I just wanted to give a quick update.

Thanks to those who read my blog! I appreciate it!

A special and BIG thanks to Vyckie Garrison for all the mentions on Twitter. Check out her awesome blog here:
http://nolongerquivering.com/

Those Angry Atheists!

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Mahatma Gandhi

I recently had a Facebook show-down with my ex-sister in law. (And others who had to put their two-cent about religion on my page) I have posted the positive replies and the supportive responses here as well as the stupid crap that people feel they HAD to say. Here is how it went.

I posted this status update on Facebook:

I just realized a bunch of people deleted me as a friend from Facebook. Pshh What was it? That fact that I am bisexual and speak out for gay rights? Or wait.. maybe it was the post about not beating your kids? No? Ohhh It was the fact that I am not a Bible thumping conservative? Oh well. No big loss! If you dump people who have been your friend that long because they think differently, you are more close-minded that I thought!!

Now, I am all for people stating their opinion and disagreeing with me. But I DON’T appreciate people telling me how to feel, how to believe, and what kinds of things I should or should not post on my OWN Facebook page. Here are some of the responses I received:

1) Friend Joyce: “No way I'm deleting you as a friend! I love you and to be completely honest i love you more now that you're being honest about who you are :) I’m too old for lying about who or what or when or why or where LOL just tell me the truth...I’m a big girl...in lots of ways :) “

2) Friend Amy: “good riddance. There’s a reason spring cleaning feels good. (I know it's not spring but you know what I mean.) Adios, nut-jobs.”

3) Friend Step Up: I ♥ this post! Keep being you!

4) Friend Eric Ragle: Florida sounds just as backwards as Tennessee. Stay strong! You're awesome.

5) Friend Laura Caton-David: As a native East Tennessean (now in FL), I can tell you that in many ways it is just as backwards or even more so!

6) Friend and former boss: Lenroy Jones ‎...can't get rid of me that easy :-) much love coming from Lexington! You’re still the beautiful person that I met in Jacksonville Florida! Awesome Lady!!! ..and highly intelligent. Me back: Lori Graham Atkinson Thanks Lenroy! :) That made my day!!!

7) Former student Kelsey: Love you Ms. Atkinson :) You've always been one of my biggest Role-Models ♥

8) Cousin Jennifer: Hey You, Lori! I won't leave you...I am totally the proudest sister of a gay man and am very grateful to have an open mind! I love you, cousin of mine :)

9) Cousin Jim: Lori, there is a God as I know deep down that even when things are not going right as they rarely do, God is there. I can't prove it any more than I can prove the existence of infinity. The God we all hoped for and believed in as a child has been replaced by the God of mercy who let's us learn from our decisions. Pray for mercy, be merciful, and you will see God act in your life. I'll keep you in my prayers.


10) My response to Jim: Hi Cuz, I respect your right to believe in a god. I like things that can be proven and I like evidence. I don't like blindly following something because of a vague feeling or because of a deep down feeling. When I see some evidence of a god, I will believe it. Thanks for your input though.

11) Cousin Jim’s response back: I understand Lori, I'm an Engineer and have studied science my whole life and still can't find evidence for many of the theories that have been put forth. Get under the stars for several hours and keep looking, if you don't believe in God after spending several hours looking at creation and trying to imagine that it was all created randomly from nothing with no beginning, you must be looking at something else. There is nothing vague about the feeling you should get when contemplating the vastness of the universe. Maybe a bottle of wine will help?

12) My Response back again to Cousin Jim: Cuz Jim, I live way out in the country with a lot of trees and an acre of land. My son and I love to lie out on the hammock and look at the stars. We love to name them, talk about them, etc... The feeling I get is one of amazement at the beauty. I don't give credit to a god for the beauty any more than I give credit to a god for my awesome son! Just because something is awesome and beautiful and can't be explained by science, does not mean we have to "fill in the blanks" with a god.

13) Cuz Jim back to me: Not just "a god" the one and only God; Jesus Christ as taught and preached by the only institution revealed to preach Him, that of course being the Catholic Church Lori. Set up by God himself to teach us. He's as real as it gets and unlike a lot of scientific ideas, Jesus Christ has stood the test of time. Look into the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church and what truth they teach before you listen to all the "modern" ideas, most of which will be gone with the wind before you know it. Truth; whether it be scientific or religious can never be contradicted by truth, there is nothing to be afraid of.

14) My response back to Jim: I don't agree with you, Jim. But I respect your right to believe the way you do.

15) Cousin Jim’s final words: I love you Cousin Lori, hope to see you soon! It was a lot of fun getting to know you the little bit of time that we did while you were here. By the way, you don't have to agree with me Lori Graham Atkinson, I'm just a flawed guy trying to make my way in the great big sand box.

16) Other friends:

I think you're awesome, Lori!

Not me lady!!!! We haven't even met but I respect you and you stay on my Facebook!!!!!!

For what it's worth, you're still one of my favorite people.

AMEN SISTER!! Good for you! If someone doesn't like who you are or your thoughts, they can go piss off. :)

(Best friend and more... Mel) I understand all of your views on religion, or whatever point you're trying to make to Lori. You say you love her and then try to push your own beliefs down her throat. Do you honestly think you get her to quit believing what she does by being pushy? Probably not. No more than she can make you abandon your beliefs. Why not try something new. How about simply saying I love you no matter what you believe, or who you are. I am here whenever you need a shoulder. I don't know...just a thought. Here's a little bit of education for a few of you that like to use the word 'CHOICE'. Being gay, bisexual, straight, transgendered or whatever is not a choice. That's why it's called a lifestyle NOT a “choicestyle. “

17) Ex sis-in-law, Myrna: I'm not dumping you! God isn't dumping you, either! Love yourself enough so that it doesn't matter if those you think should love you, don't. I miss the happy, joyful Lori with a great sense of humor. Reading angry posts all the time makes me want to sign off FB. Just my thoughts! Love you!
18) My reply to sis-in-law Myrna: Myrna, If you were in my situation, you would be angry too. I have LOST MOST OF MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY because of religion and ignorance. Please DO take me of Facebook if you can't handle the good, the happy, the angry and the rest of me. I am still the same Lori that you helped with birthing Angie. I am the same Lori that loved and took care of Helen when she was ill. I am the same Lori that laughed and had fun with you and Chuck when I was still with Joe. I am the same Lori- only more outspoken and I WILL NOT be silenced by people when I am having a difficult time. I keep Facebook as a way to stay in touch with friends and family. I also feel that MY page is MY page and I can vent when I want to vent. If people do not SPEAK UP and STAND UP for injustice and ignorance, than it will continue. I LOVE MYSELF enough to speak my mind. Sitting by quietly is not the way to accomplish change. I love you Myrna, and I will always see you as my sister-in-law, but please know I will understand if my FB posts upset you and you delete me as a friend. p.s. I no longer believe there is a "god." If there was a god, so much injustice would not be going on in the world. If this "god" is all powerful, then he/she/it needs to step up and start doing some good in the world!

19) Ex sis-in-law back: Lori, I'm going to say this again and I hope you hear me. I LOVE YOU! You are my friend. I'm not going to remove you as a friend on FB or in life. It isn't that your posts upset me as much as I miss the balance of good happy thoughts along with your personal views on life and politics, religion and loyalties. I don't see happy Lori anymore. If you weren't my sis-in-law, I wouldn't bother to offer my thoughts. I'm sad you renounce God because I do and always have believed He is the only One who has the answers you are looking for. I just hate to see you go through life as an 'angry person'. It will suck the life out of you. Of course you can have your 'voice' on things and issues that you are passionate about, but you were never taught the love of God whose Peace passes all understanding. I hope you will have as open of a mind about that as you hope others will have about your choices and sexuality. There is a lot of ignorance and intolerance about Christianity and relationship with God as well. Be forgiving! Sending you big Hugs and I will continue to pray for you to find happiness and peace.

20) Me back to sis-in-law: Myrna: I miss the old Myrna that was less conservative, more fun, more open minded and accepting and less judgmental, but I don't go on your page and tell you that. Why? It is your page and your voice. Please don't pretend to know how many versions of "god" I have had crammed down my throat. I WAS taught about god in every way, shape and form and I have found it all to be a bunch of shit. That is part of my anger. I will pull out of the anger and move ahead, but I need supportive friends who understand this. Many, I should say MOST, christians deserve the intolerance because they try to cram god down the faces of others in every aspect, including politics. Please don't tell me to be forgiving. You have no idea how it feels to be me.

The same day of this exchange, I came home to find my 14-year-old cat, Casper dead. So I was not having a good day anyway. But the point I would like to make here is this: Please don’t tell people how to feel when they are having a difficult time. Also, trying to cram your religion down someone’s throat is NOT going to make them post more positive and happy Facebook statuses. For the record, I don’t think my posts are very negative. When I am going through a tough time (Like a recent breakup with my girlfriend, or having to take my ex BF for to court because he would NOT LEAVE ME ALONE) I was quiet and did not post much on Facebook.

My choices when reading these kinds of responses (the annoying ones) were 1) Ignore them 2) act like I agree with them and not let them know they made me angry 3) Be myself, realize this is my Facebook page and tell people what I NEED to say. Obviously, you see I chose number 3!

Many anti-theists have written about why we are angry. We have a good reason to be! Here is one of the best explanations of why atheists are angry by Greta Christina.


I would like to add a few of my own reasons that I am angry.

1) When I took my ex- partner of nine years to court for harassing me, jeopardizing my job by stopping by, emailing and leaving notes on my car, my father, my very own DAD, wrote a letter FOR my ex. Not only did he, or my mom, not support me, but they wrote a letter FOR the man who has made my life miserable. WHY? Because they don’t agree with my “lesbian lifestyle” and they think I have gone off the deep end because I came out as an atheist. THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. But most of all, it hurts me. Some days I cry every day because I feel a major loss. If my parents had died, it would have been sad. But having them ignore me, and basically disown me is far more hurtful. Anger is a natural stage of mourning. So get off my back!

2) I am angry because I live in the Deep South and I am a minority any place I go. There are very few atheists or bisexuals where I live. It is lonely and I often feel angry when I am in a conversation with someone and they ASSUME that I believe in their god. I DON’T!

3) When I want to put a post on Facebook, I get the above responses. The ones that make the angriest are the ones that, again, ASSUME that everyone agrees with them. Like this: “You were never taught the love of God whose Peace passes all understanding. I hope you will have as open of a mind about that as you hope others will have about your choices and sexuality. There is a lot of ignorance and intolerance about Christianity and relationship with God as well. Be forgiving! Sending you big Hugs and I will continue to pray for you to find happiness and peace.” PLEASE don’t tell people what they were or were not taught! It tends to make them upset, and yes, angry! Don’t tell someone to be forgiving either. I will forgive… in my own time. And, if you want to know how I feel about someone telling me they will pray for me. Read this.

Finally, I feel that I am not defined by my anger. I AM angry sometimes and sometimes I feel at peace. But just because I am angry, does not mean I have to be defined as an "angry person." I am going through the motions and going through the stages in the best way that I can. Please, please, please people who claim to be Christians: If you want to come across like your Christ, then stop judging and start showing love and compassion. Whether or not someone believes the same way that you do.

The longer I am out of Christianity, the more I can clearly see how much of a cult it is. I will NEVER go back and I feel freer every day. Angry? Sometimes. Get over it!!

Female Atheist Bloggers Who Rock My World!

I would like to put the focus/spotlight on blogs I love to read. I love to read what women atheists have to say and I want to share some of the best blogs that I read. After reading, if you think I need to add anymore, please let me know. I am sure I have left out some awesome ones and would love to add them!

Check out this blogger! This particular article address the hypocricy of christians who focus on one verse in Leviticus and use it to fuel thier hatred of gay people, but who totally ignore the other verses. Check out Monica's whole blog!!http://www.monicks.net/2009/09/12/11-things-the-bible-bans-but-you-do-anyway/

Greta Christina is one blogger who, after I read her pieces, either on this blog or http://www.alternet.org/belief/151241/10_scariest_states_to_be_an_atheist/?page=entire (AlterNet) I always end up saying to myself: "Wow! I wish I could have said it that way" She puts many of my views into words. She is actually my hero! You may also enjoy Greta Christina's blogs on sex and sexuality. Check her out for sure!! If you only read one piece written by Greta Christina I would highly recommend this one: Why are atheists sometimes angry? Here is Greta Christina's take on it. http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/atheists-and-an.html

http://hotforjesusformerfundie.blogspot.com/
Christine is funny and sarcastic and she has entertaining "eye candy" :) Her writing is brilliant! I love her sense of humor. Here is how she introduces her blog: provides hottie jesus eye candy and in-depth analysis of life before, during, and after JC and company. Love it!

Next up: RosaRubicondior from the United Kingdom. Rosa calls herself:  A Centre-left atheist humanist with a rational view of the universe and deeply in awe of the this beautiful planet and the cosmos which produced it.  She is a very good writer and I have enjoyed reading her blog. Her latest is very funny and will make you go hmmmmm. http://rosarubicondior.blogspot.com/2011/07/just-imagine-if-science-was-religion.html


I also read a lot of Godless Girl's blog. Here is one of my favorites: http://www.godlessgirl.com/2010/01/am-i-an-angry-atheist/ I love her "Quote" section too. “Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions” — Blaise Pascal

Vyckie Garrison

Her blog focus in on the "quiverfull" movement and I find her blog facinating. I can relate a lot to the way Vyckie Garrison was raised. I think she has used her writing like I have: A way to vent, share and infom others so we can pull out of the cloud religion leaves us under and see the sun! http://nolongerquivering.com/





Okay, I know I am writing about my favorite female bloggers, because I feel men get a lot of focus in the atheist world, but I have to include one dude because he is sooo cool and a great feminist. I don't think he will even mind me using the word. I love you! http://krissthesexyatheist.blogspot.com/2011/06/evangelical-feminismnow-ive-heard-it.html


Hugs and love to my friends here and please send me other favorite female bloggers and I will be glad to add them to my list. I am not a man-hater, but I think women in the atheist world need to be recognized for their awesome accomplishments. I love Sam, Richard and Christopher.. a lot... but I also want women to see great role models who are also women. (except Kriss... He is an exception because I think he is awesome)

Feel free to leave your respectful comments.

Focus on Hatred

Let me just put this out there:

I STRONGLY believe that MANY fundamental "christian" churches are doing more harm and spreading more hate than anything else in the United States at this time.

Not only are they not helping families and NOT supporting humans with love and support, but they are teaching, preaching and living pure hatred every time they try to put themselves in the position of god.

Consider a quote from the website for "Focus on the Family:"

"Homosexual behavior violates God's intentional design for gender and sexuality."

Homosexual behavior? James Dobson and all of the other haters in this organization believe that people choose to "behave" like they are gay. They believe they can interpret their fictional book in any way that they want to interpret it and think it is okay to spread hatred and misinformation to their blind sheep. They take what they want from a book that they claim is god-inspired and use it as a weapon of hatred. Way to be like christ!!


Here is another quote from those family-friendly folks:

"Focus on the Family is dedicated to defending the honor, dignity and value of the two sexes as created in God's image – intentionally male and female – each bringing unique and complementary qualities to sexuality and relationships."

Um.. Sorry but what about the honor and dignity of people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transsexual/transgendered? What about our own unique qualities? Didn't your "god" make us the way that we are?

A group that claims to be "christians" which literally means christ-like, and uses a title for their organization like "Focus on the Family" should be concentrating their efforts on helping people and making lives better for people who blindly follow their organization.

In order to claim to help families, you should be teaching love, acceptance and compassion for our fellow human beings. Shouldn't this organization be one that people turn to for support, love and acceptance? Isn't that what your christ would do?

One more fun quote from the kind, loving folks over at Focus on the Family:

"From the Christian standpoint, marriage is a relationship of love in which a man and a woman model for each other the self-sacrificial nature of Christ's love for His church."

There is a lot in this quote. First of all, I am glad they recognize that this ridiculous view is coming from their [demented] "Christian standpoint."

Second of all, who says marriage has to between a man and a woman? Oh wait... that is your standpoint. Not mine. So leave your silly views about love out of our government.

Marriage is a comittment that two people who love each other make. YOU can't define that for the rest of the United States! Everyone deserves equal rights. Not just the select few who happen to fall into the realm of "normal."

Finally, if christ loves his church so much, then where is he? Is he answering your prayers? Is he showing up to prevent natural disasters, starvation and other horrific ordeals humans have to endure? No? They why do you love him. God sounds like an abusive spouse. Maybe you should consider a divorce. Or at least choose to follow an organization that does not claim to focus on the family, but only spread lies, misinformation and deceit.

I really wish I felt love and acceptance from my family. The only way to show a family member love is to accept them, care about them, treat them with dignity and respect and welcome them into the family fold, no matter who they choose to love. I am the same old Lori I always was. I still love my kids. I am still more moral than most christians I know, I am a good mom, a loving person and sometimes a bit too tolerant of family members. I have not changed who I am. I have only chosen to BE who I am without shame or guilt. I am asking for love and acceptance. Nothing more.

Check out the video below. When did you choose to be heterosexual?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJtjqLUHYoY

Not a Happy Camper

Most kids like it when you mention summer camp. Right? My son went to camp for two different summers and attends Boy Scout Camp sometimes and he really seems to like it. When I hear about camp, I inwardly cringe and have to keep my negative camp views to myself. Why? Because camp, for me as a teenager, was nothing but an anti-woman brainwashing session.

My most vivid memory of my Christian camp experiences is not of me cruising the lake in a canoe or falling in love with the cutest boys. Nope. I actually remember that I felt TORTURED that we had to attend a “church” meeting every day 3 times a day. How boring! Girls sat on one side of the outside (i.e... miserably hot in Florida) auditorium and boys sat on the other. (I guess they thought there would be too much temptation if we sat next to one another?). Many times we were broken into groups. The girls would go listen to a woman talk and the boys would hear a man.

The one session that stands out in my memory the most is one that was called something like “Women of God.” We were told that we were to save ourselves for our future husbands. We then talked about what a good woman of God does. Here is what I remember:

1) You should remain pure until God’s choice finds you and asks you to marry him.

2) After you get married, you should always strive to make your husband happy. He is the head of the household and he makes the rules. You follow his lead.

3) When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you should do is get dressed, smell nice and put on makeup for your husband. He deserves a woman who does not “let herself go.”

4) You should plan good meals and find out what your husband likes.

5) Limit time with girlfriends and others who will take time away from your husband.

6) We should always aim to be pure in actions and dress. Always dress modestly! (Which meant, as I said from other blogs, dresses or “Culottes.”)

7) Never argue with your husband. When he makes a decision, you should back him up with a smile on your face.

Well, I could go on for a while, but I think you get the idea. We were supposed to turn into Stepford Wives and become robots for God. I remember thinking at age seventeen while I sat there at camp… Wouldn’t my husband love me even if I did not wear makeup? I honestly got stressed out and wondered if I would be able to keep a many happy if I changed, gained weight, forgot my makeup or neglected to make dinner.

As time went on, I began to become bitter about these camp lessons. (Which were also reinforced in church and Sunday school as well)

Here is what these lessons failed to consider:

1) What if I did not like God’s choice?

2) What about my happiness? Shouldn’t our relationship be a mutual respect for one another?

3) If my husband loved me, he would not care if I was wearing makeup.

4) Both people should cook and care for the house. Why was I a housemaid? Because I had a vagina? Grrr

5) Not having a relationship with other people outside of my relationship felt like torture and solitary confinement.

6) Men in religious “cult-like” churches always worry so much about what “their” women wear. The only conclusion I had for this was that they had personal problems with lust and did not want the women to “tempt” them by wearing something that actually showed they had a shape.

7) If a woman is told to not argue with her husband and that he is always right, where will she ever gain confidence in who she is as a person. What if he is abusive? What if he is an alcoholic? (as my first husband was) What if he is just a control freak jerk? Why should a woman “submit” to a man like that?

8) What about what SHE wants? What if she wants to be a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a military pilot, or a bank executive? Why are the woman’s needs not considered?

9) Okay, I know this one is obvious, since if you know me at all you know I am in a relationship with a woman…but what if we don’t want to be with a man? Then what?

I raised my daughters completely opposite from any of this bullshit and I am glad to say that they are both very intelligent, kind, loving women who have a voice, an opinion and their own mind. I would rather have had them be a bit on the “sassy” side growing up, knowing they have a voice and their own identity.

I am also raising my son to respect women and to know that they are his EQUAL, not beneath him. He calls me a “Femi-Nazi,” which annoys me, but I would rather have that label than one in which I am subservient to men. I tell him that a feminist is a woman who wants EQUAL treatment. Nothing more. Nothing less!

The problem with Christianity and most religions is that they fail to see the worth of women. They fail to raise their daughters to believe that they are special and worthy of equal treatment. This kind of message tells girls and young women that they don’t deserve anything good, that they should settle for the first schmuck that comes their way, and that their lives are to be controlled by others. I don’t know about you, but that is NOT what I want for my daughters, or anyone else’s’ for that matter. Christianity, to me, was mostly anti-woman! As time went on, the messages that they tried to put in my head began to change. I realized my worth and I began to see my life as a better place without religion.